37. ON JEWISH CULTURE . . . AND HUMOR
I’ve been writing about Jews and the Bible, and Jewish culture . . . which brings me to the matters of jokes and humor and silliness as expressed in different cultures. As far as jokes go, University of California folklorist Alan Dundes has written some wonderful books about the folklore of humor . . . and humor in folklore . . . across different cultures. Jewish humor, in particular, comes in various forms: there’s American Jewish humor, which is largely based in stereotypes (focus on merchants and money, marriage, my-son-the-doctor, mothers and mothers-in-law, big noses, Jewish princesses, hypochondria, God in the desert, etc.). There’s also Eastern European Jewish humor, which is based in irony and a darkish view of the world; but of course that sensibility was fermented in a rather pessimistic and oppressed culture. ‘Authentic’ Jewish humor is dark dark dark. And, not surprisingly, Western European Jewish humor is colored by the culture of the specific country in question: Germany, Spain, France, England, etc. I am having trouble imagining Scandinavian Jewish humor, although I assume that there must be some. I’ve heard German humor; I honestly don’t understand much of it . . . although Germans laugh a lot at it anyway.
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Anyway, here’s an example of ‘authentic’ Eastern European Jewish humor.
Two men are talking.
One says: “Life is hard”.
He pauses thoughtfully, and then he continues. He says: “Life is so hard . . . that death doesn’t seem like such a bad thing”.
After a bit more thinking he says, with finality: “In fact, life is so hard that it’s better to never have been born”.
His friend listens, and says: “You’re right. But how many people are so lucky? Maybe only one in ten thousand!”
See? It’s pretty dark.
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Here’s another, less dark and more stereotypical, Joke:
A Frenchman, and Englishman, a German, and a Jew are mountain climbing. [This is how I heard this joke; notice how it’s three Nationalities vs. a Religion? What, there are no English, German, or French Jews??!?] About halfway up the mountain they take a lunch break and discover that they’ve forgotten to bring any water along with them. They’re really parched and thirsty. And there’s no other water anywhere near. The climbers begin to imagine their favorite thirst quenchers.
Weak from dehydration, the Frenchman says: “I . . . must . . .
have . . . wine!”
Panting from thirst, the Englishman can barely croak out: “I . . . must . . . have . . . tea!”
The parched German says: “I . . . must . . . have . . . beer”.
The very thirsty Jew says: “I . . . must . . . have . . . diabetes!”
Sorry about that.
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And here’s one from Alan Dundes’ book on Eastern European Jewish humor. It lacks the stereotypical touch but makes up for it by being a bit on the dark side:
A man stands in front of a house in one of the less respectable neighborhoods in Bratislava. He knocks on the door. No response. He knocks again, more loudly.
A second-floor window opens and a man sticks his head out. “What do you want?”, he asks.
“I’m looking for Goldstein, the baker”, he replies.
“He doesn’t live here”, says the second-story guy.
“What’s your name?”, asks the visitor.
“Goldstein”, replies the man at the window.
“Are you a baker?”, asks the man at the door.
“Yes”, replies the man above.
“Well, how can you tell me that Goldstein the baker doesn’t live here?”, asks the visitor.
Goldstein looks around at the decrepit surrounding neighborhood, and says: “You call this living??”.
Better be careful next time you go to Bratislava.
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Have you noticed that the funniest people, the ones with the most active sense of humor, wit, etc., are the ones who’ve had the worst childhoods and the most difficult life experiences? If you pay attention, I think you’ll find this to be true. Who else would have a NEED to see life through that kind of lens? I believe that the same principle applies in general to the historical difficulties and challenges that have resulted in national, ethnic, etc. humor.
As far as Jewish humor is concerned, I learned about its origin recently from a lecture from one of the faculty in Ethnic Studies at U.C. Berkeley. It’s an interesting story.
The Jews, as we all know, had been dispersed all over the Western world: all over Europe, and over into Eastern Europe. That’s known as the Jewish Diaspora.
In the 1500s there were a series of brutal pogroms in Eastern Europe. (A pogrom is to Jews what race riots and lynchings have been to Southern blacks.) Those pogroms were a problem for the Jewish community because they couldn’t figure out what they had done to offend God sufficiently that he allowed this to happen. Seriously. The Jews thought that if they could stop annoying God he’d stop hitting them over the head with the Cossacks.
They thought and thought and debated . . . through the filter and lens of the Torah, of course . . . and finally decided that they’d offended God by laughing too much. So they decided to outlaw comedians. Really. I am not joking here. They banned all comedians and revelry makers. Go figure. They thought God would like them more if they were serious people.
However, no people can survive without some form of humor. So the Jews allowed one category of “humorist” to exist: the bodchan. That’s pronounced bud-Hun, with a guttural “h”. The bodchan was the Medieval king’s jester’s evil twin; his job was to make fun of people. The bodchan said unkind things, especially at weddings. He goaded people. He would insult them. Think Don Rickles; Don Rickles would have made a superb bodchan. I’ve seen him in action and he was amazingly quick with his pointed jibes. Anyway, in the past, at Jewish weddings, the bodchan would, for example, reduce the bride to tears with his descriptions of how she would soon be a wrinkled old hag with grey hair, brought down by disease and illness. And ditto everybody else.
Well, you get the point. For a long time, that was the only permitted Jewish humor. Make people hurt until they laugh. Or cry. Well, life was hard, so why not?
From that, there arose an ironic sensibility of the world that mellowed a bit over the centuries . . . and by the time America made a place for such a thing in Vaudeville it had morphed into a very wry and self-effacing form of communication. It had the bite and irony of containing a bit of truth, but now without sounding so horribly bad. Think Henny Youngman (“Take my wife . . . . . . . . please”) or Rodney Dangerfield (“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying”.) That kind of humor worked because those narratives were based in living life, and witnessing its imperfections and disappointments from up close, rather than in the more simple-minded two-dimensional stereotypes, wit and puns, putdowns, or outright insults. Oscar Wilde exercised tremendous wit and cleverness, but he was merely brilliantly ironic; his material wasn’t dark material. He hadn’t suffered enough to do that. As for me, I’m very comfortable with Jewish ironic humor. My brain comes up with that kind of stuff. I believe that the fundamental building blocks of the universe are Nitrogen, Hydrogen, Oxygen, and Irony.
Anyway, that’s the history that such a sensibility all came out of. Isn’t that interesting to know?
Speaking of Rodney Dangerfield, whose self-ironic humor I’ve always liked . . . his spin on humor touches on a form of rhetoric that the Greeks called paraprosdokion (sometimes spelled paraprosdokian). Paraprosdokion, as I’m certain you all know, is a form of rhetoric in which there are two parts, and in which the second part denies or undercuts the first one. Or modifies it in a subtly humorous way. A lot of American humor used to be of this type: comic one-liners or two-liners that had a comically self-contradictory feel. Like Rodney Dangerfield’s delivery. Will Rogers and George Allen were pretty good at it too.
Here are some examples of paraprosdokion. They range from the funny to the not-so-funny:
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
He has hit rock bottom
and has begun to excavate.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather,
not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it’s still on the list.
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you
we’d both be wrong.
They hired a band that was so lousy
that every time a waiter dropped a tray we all got up and danced.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I have so much
to be humble about.
I was brought up to respect my elders.
I’m just having a hard time finding any these days.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:”
I put “DOCTOR”.
I didn’t say it was your fault,
I said I was blaming you.
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it…
so I said “Implants?”
I’ve had a wonderful evening.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t this one.
He took umbrage
when I called him a thief.
Behind every successful man is his woman.
Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
If at first you don’t succeed . . .
well . . . then maybe sky-diving really isn’t for you.
I want to make you feel at home,
even though I wish you were.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark
or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Some cause happiness wherever they go.
Others whenever they go.
I used to be indecisive.
Now I’m not sure.
I always take life with a grain of salt,
plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
When tempted to fight fire with fire,
remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
He was at his best when the going was good.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people.
Others have no imagination whatsoever.
I’m a Scorpio,
so I don’t believe in Horoscopes.
Where there’s a will,
I want to be in it.
He started out with nothing,
and through sheer hard work and determination made his way to the very highest point on the Bell Curve.
I was approached by a man who told me he hadn’t eaten in three days.
I said to him, “my dear man, you must force yourself”.
If all the debutantes from Vassar were laid end to end . . .
well, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.
Nothing is better than having dinner with you.
Much better, in fact.
I’m glad you’ve rested your case.
It’s weak. It needs the rest.
He really turned the situation around
a full 360 degrees.
I think you should put your money where your mouth is,
and ignore the fact that money has a lot of germs.
He started out with nothing,
and has retained most of it.
Never wrestle with a pig.
You’ll both get filthy, and the pig will enjoy it.
If you have a stack of applications on your desk, throw the first ten of them out.
You don’t want to hire unlucky people.
Sex at age 90 is . . .
like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
He put out a good vibe.
I mean, he squelched it completely.
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More later.